... In Which Fleetwhite Airs Some Laundry, and Goes Back to Pimping ...
Tara Faircloth came to town that week, fresh from Florida after a longish bus ride but looking a bit like a hung-over Betty Boop, and I agreed to Represent her before she ran into Bad Company, which, of course, she did anyway, but that's not my problem. And it's not my problem Fenton Rochilieu picked her up for sex, either. But whatever. I guess I just need a Drink after all this shit.
I truly hate that Ball of Shit Frankie Minot, the one that tries to rape young boys while they're drunk and all. In fact, I'd like to beat his ass. Goddamn faggot. Maybe I will, too, at a Halloween Party or something. I despise the way he gloats over his own sleaze.
In fact, I think he's as much of a goddamn Whore as the boys he picks up, or as the Girls I represent, or anybody in New Orleans. In FACT, I'm writing a novel about these fuckers, a real tell-all. It's called Town Full of Hoors. People'll SHIT when it comes out. I know this dude in California who'll publish it for me, I bet.
Which brings me to the Latest Conflict in the Quarter, the Tour Guides' War. I observed it all from my Burgundy Street Apartment, where I'm getting back to marrying drunken tourists as the smoke clears. But every night this other vampire dude was out there trying to cop Becker's Gig as Vampire Tour Man, so he wasted the money he WOULD have made by hiring 10 prostitutes to walk down Bourbon Street with picket signs with Don Becker's picture on them, like those signs that had Stalin on them and shit, while they screamed "Don Becker! Don Becker! That's What the Fuck I Said! Don Becker! Don Becker! A Friend of the Undead." Like that. JESUS, what a cheesemo scene. And it ain't over yet. I think the other Vampire Tour Dude went out to Marie Laveau's Grave and Hoodooed old Becker, but maybe I'm wrong.
But I'm NOT wrong about that shit Fenton got into with Tara.
Do you know what it was that got de Sade busted and sent to the Bastille? Well, neither did I. Until Ron Barnes up and told me. Then I knew. And it reminded me of Tara, whose real name is either Erin Cavanaugh, Bonnie, or Jennifer St. Pierre, but I by no means EVER blow anyone's Cover.
But Fenton Rochilieu was out slumming (or actually, he was just falling into the Pit of Nola) and scamming on his Woman when he drove down to Cafe Brazil and bought some Sextacy from Davis Barron, a local man, and ingested the same at a party I threw one night to introduce my newer 'Tutes to the Local Scene. Fent had himself some coke already, and he gave Tara some Sextacy I saw it from where I was behind a Wall with brass knuckes and a Glock, but at my parties I just let it go, since after all, it is ME who's the Meth Dealer. I had Tara in a Betty Boop skirt with no underwear and they were drinking vodka and getting off on their pills and took some more of them, and her pussy juice was dripping down her thighs and they went out to Fenton's '85 Mazda and started kissing passionately.
That's when things got scary.
It was 4 in the Morning by this time but neither of them seemed to notice, and they were parked in the dark alley RIGHT BY MY PAD with the windows rolled down and they were freebasing coke out of a goddamn Tab can and shotgunning each other, and her hands were all OVER his crotch. A slut like that will fuck for coke, booze, ANYTHING, a total Nola Hoor, and Fenton couldn't get his dick up. And after that Sextacy Spanish Fly Action she was out of her BRAIN, SCREAMING, "Fuck me, you asshole! What is it, do you not find me attractive? Get it hard, you fucker!" and she started hitting his limp cock with her FIST.
And he said, "Bitch, you'd do this with anybody, wouldn't you? Go to hell and just get yourself off on the goddamn Stick-Shift!"
I couldn't believe it, but that's exactly what the lousy whore proceeded to do.
She'd got her pussy lips all around the ball you hold to shift gears with and he was holding up the Tab can to her lips so she could Base while she Rode the Stick and while he worked on her Nipples with a pair of needlenose plyers she'd brought 'cause she liked it. And she was screaming and moaning and fucking Fenton's Mazda and I later heard she'd had a Rupture, but I wouldn't know, since I had no more Truck with the bitch OR with Fenton, and I decided I'd tell Melanie Hassler all about it and THEN beat his ass for abusing one of my Hoors, and I just said Fuck it, Welcome to New Orleans and poured myself a Manhattan and went to bed.
Funny thing was, this was an OFF night. I wondered what Kermit had in mind for Halloween.