Damon Sauve was a Porn Star. He'd overcome the impossible odds of a childhood in Waynesville, South Carolina, to be the man thousands of women all Over the World thought about when they Rubbed their Clits. He had a Handsome Hock of Ham on him, and women loved THAT shit, Brother, and directors loved him 'cause he could get some Wood before anybody else on the Set. Dudes liked to imagine they were that dude when he was reaming some Juice out of barely-legal Pussy and bitches wanted to Suck his Dick and Drink his Come. God, he loved Pussy!!!!!

I, for example, your Narrator, like Pussy. Okay? I'm not like that Summer's Eve motherfucker Hiram Bledscoe. I like to get into it, and shoot my Bolt in it. Get it? But Sauve, well, he liked Pussy more than men from Texas like STEAK!

This chapter is fairly pornographic. I'm a Pornographer.

But Anyway, hey! People fuck, okay? Women love to fuck just as much as men. Sauve could tell you that just as well as God could, that Bitches love that cock, Honey. But bitches like Pussy, too, they like to Eat it all Out and have bitches stick things in it and shit, that's just they way they're Made. So when Damon was getting Pussy, his wife didn't get mad! His getting Pussy meant that She could eat his Cum out of there when he Blitzed, while she got some more of that big Cock in her pussy. However, if Damon went off and gave out his cock without her, then that meant she could go out and take some guy's Sperm and that'd be that. See.

And Angelique, she'd fucked before, she was hip, drank a lot of Beer. She wanted to gobble up his Saint with her Twat. And so she got down on her knees in this little shack and started going down on him, and he stopped her and just Put It In, and she wasn't on the Pill and she didn't give a shit. She liked the Cock, but she also wanted Cum in her pussy. She loved that, when men Worelocked in there. I just Coined that Word, but it made Sense in Context. So he was Visiting her Pussy and her Cunt was all juicy and he started lovin' that shit he was in, wriggled his Dick around in there and shit! He realized he Had to have it, can you believe it? I mean Angelique's in Particular. He started like fucking her and not telling Tina, see. And that eventually caused a Problem. But until it did he was Fucking her Pussy. But he was getting Other pussy, too! A couple of bitches here and There. Y'know, nothing Serious, Erin Cavanaugh, people like That. And then he met a Couple named Mike and Ginny. They liked Damon to fuck her in their Presence and the Mike would get all hard and get in her pussy, too, which was All Lubed Up from all the Cum. And then Mike would come, and they'd only do it when she was Ovulating. Did you know you can Smell it when Women are Ovulating? Damon knew it. Me, I was Married to this Woman one time, she liked to Do it Drunk, you'll hear about her in Chapter 16, but she was on the Pill but when her Eggs started that Transit I fucking well knew, man. And she'd love for me to stick a Dick in her during those times, too. I had a lot in my Balls back then.

But anyway, then, if you're in school, and you have to write a paper of 1,000 words, just start writing about Pussy! People like Pussy, see? Pussy SELLS. That's why Homer wrote The Odyssey. No kidding! Why does the Hero of that book go through ten years of bullshit trying to get back home? 'Cause Penelope was some Quality Pussy!!! Not that he didn't also get some Other Pussy along the way, like Circe. Sauve was screaming this into his Cell Phone. What is it Virgil says to Dante? Let's go get you some Pussy, is what! Sauve was drunk and Dialing Numbers at Random. You can reach More People that way.

And he was in a Chatroom dedicated to Players of the computer game Diablo, and he says, when You're playing Diablo, don't you ever just want to go out, and get some Pussy? It's this way. People get INTO a conversation in Chatrooms that's Off the Subject about only Two Things: Pussy and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Try it. Get on there and start talking about Krispy Kreme. See what They do.

On the Other End of the Cell Phone Harry Crews was telling Sauve, Know why I've never had Writer's Block? 'Cause I know the next Sentence is gonna be about Pussy! Yes! And Damon was saying Thank God that we have Pussy, man! Otherwise, we'd have never been Born.

Then the conversation shifts to Something Else. It starts with David Bowie. One dude asks the Other, How much Pussy do you think you could get if you Really Wanted To and you were David Bowie? A LOT. Both men then laugh, just thinking of it. Then they start talking about Bing Crosby. Mike's passing Genny the Roach and he's saying, Do you think that Cocksucking Faggot ever really got any Pussy? And she's holding in a Toke and saying, well, he had children. And he says, So? Lots of Faggots have Children! They both laugh. This is funny, and plus, they're both Fucked Up.

One Time, there was this Dorm Room, and in it lived some dude named Johnathan Daggerheart, and he drank some pinot noir and caught a little buzz. He all of a sudden started listening to Creed and talking about Pussy. He was actually talking about one particular Pussy. How he'd like to stick his Dick in there, like That. And it turns out that that bitch had eaten out a bitch who'd fucked Damon Sauve, the Porn Star! Just like that! See, people FUCK. And sometimes, Son, have a seat, Holden, sometimes, people like Davis and Roedy like to get together and Drill each other up the Butt until one of them Creams, thinking about men like Clint Eastwood. But usually, people like to get themselves a little Pussy! That's what I had when I put you in your Mother, and she loved what I was doing to her Pussy, and we were both thinking about Rasputin, she that I was Rasputin, and me that I was Unloading in Rasputin's ASS-Pussy! Welcome to the World, Boy. Some things they just don't Teach you in School.

And last Night, Damon Sauve dropped a tab or two of Windowpane, and started walking around in the Yard with the fellow who Dosed him, an Older man, and they were saying, If you ever look at Plantlife, when you're high, if you look close enough, you'll see a pussy! That's right! Even the Man of that Name who used to Sing for the Band that said you Needed it and that he was gonna way down inside give a Whole Lotta Love. If you look at that dude just right, you can see his Pussy! And the dude asked Sauve, Does that mean that We have Pussies, too? And Damon said, of COURSE! The WORLD is a Pussy. And the World is God, and we're all down here Walking Around in God's Pussy. Yessir. That gay alcoholic, William Shatner? Well, he's walking around in it, too.

And out there, in the Heavens, the Earth revolved around the Sun, and the Moon revolved around the Earth, and it was the Same Moon that Everybody saw. And in other Galaxies, people stood in Wonder, agape at the beauty of What God Has Joined Together.