Thursday 21 -
Thomas Ken, Bishop & Non-Juror
As the Sun began its Transit into Aries, Avery Mitchell, mortified at his treatment at the hands of his Clueless Family, decided to Meet his Creator, and kill him.
And so began his Quest to Track down Roger van Cleef, which is what the Narrator calls Himself, and he probably believes he is Roger van Cleef by now, but lucky enough for him by the time Mitchell made it to New Orleans van Cleef had come to the Very Mistaken Conclusion, the night before, that he had already Completed What God Has Joined Together and headed to Baltimore to do Laudanum with Poe, who had been Dead since, like, 1849, but this is simply not how van Cleef had Chosen to See it. Now take a composer like Mozart, take one like Rossini. Take one like the Other Fellow, the one the Narrator Worshipped. Well, These Fuckers made something of a Specialty of Fake Endings, which is what van Cleef would have told you he was doing if you'd caught up with him which, on March 21, Avery Mitchell could Not. Make Sense?
Delusion and Illusion are Major Themes in this Book, in case you're just tuning in.
But it just so happened that Mitchell had a little Hunch. About the Baltimore thing. Because he was obsessed with this TV Program called Homicide: Life on the Streets where people kill each other, lie about it, get grilled by these Cops, confess, and that's the Formula for the Show, see? And Avery thought that if he killed somebody in Baltimore, he'd get to be on the Show, and he'd be a minor Star, see? At least that's what he Thought.
Which is how he ran into Thomas Ken, the Crack Smoker who is now a Saint. Ken, you see, was down by Poe's House, and Everybody knows where you go to Buy your Crack in Baltimore! Poppleton! And Avery Mitchell was after a little Rock himself, and luckily just missed Brian McCoon, our Boy from Chapter 3, who was in town working on an Article with the help of the Poe Society about why it was those shitty, shitty little stoned-up Ditties of poetry Poe composed sound so much like Nursery Rhymes, and it was of course Brian's Contention that it was because Poe had married a Child, which of course is a Bullshit Reason, but we're getting ahead of ourselves as anyway, Laboring under the Drunken Misconception that he had been Created by Thomas Ken, Avery Mitchell walked up and just wailed on him until he looked about as comely as that Dead Guy Who Fucked Marilyn. But don't worry, Avery told the Dude that Sold him the Rock, what you've got to understand is just 'cause you've fucked Marilyn doesn't mean you've fucked that guy.
But I'll show you who you have fucked. Yeah! Upper left-hand corner. See, these Russian Babes, their great-grandmothers fucked him and when you fuck them you're fucking him because his DNA's all OVER the goddamn place (Avery was hitting the Stem), and your come and their Pussies actually call our Lord into his Resurrection, for this is not the Age of Pisces, it's the age of Aquarius, the Water-Bearer, and they found 'Putin (no kin to the Current Russian President, not really, just kinda) in the River, and the Time is Now! For the Manachian age in which the Saint is really the Sinner and vicey-versey and you're not gonna Enter into his New Life until you've fucked Both the Saint and the Sinner because they're the SAME MOTHERFUCKER and He will Rise and so will She and out of THEIR PUSSY (we are all One Sex in God) is Birthed the New Life! Give me another Rock. Hey, where the fuck is Roger van Cleef? Did I tell you I pitched for the Padres? Shit, this Cold Sweat's sure getting' to me in the Night Air but I still feel better than him (Avery Means Saint Thomas Ken, dead & bleeding at his feet) or HIM, ha ha ha, Nevermore, Mofo, but he too will Rise if only to do a Hit with me here down on Poppleton!
Now did I ever tell you give me another Rock what the FUCK I'm gonna do when I find the FALSE GOD Roger van Cleef, he who will not enter into the Resurrected Peace of our Lord? I'm gonna get me a ball bat and FUCK him up, he'll make that dead fuck who fucked Marilyn look like, well, like, beautiful, Man! 'Cause I don't fuck around with assholes who don't Believe and who try to keep me from my Dreams.
Incidentally, this entire situation being Described took less than Five Minutes.
But I'm gonna kill him! Just like I fucked up Saint Thomas Ken, Bishop & Non-Juror, down there.
This is what Avery was saying to the Dopeman.
And little did he know, the whole Stoned Time, that the man who he Wanted to Kill was just Two Blocks Away.